a Quick Catch Up

He sleeps.
I type.

There is laundry, and dishes, and bills, and cleaning, and so many things to do in these few moments when he sleeps. I could sleep too. But I have to catch up, in here. My thoughts and memories will soon fade, and be replaced with new thoughts and memories, and I might forget these. I hope to fill in the details later, but for now, snippets will have to do.

I love him more than I ever imagined I could.
He has captured my heart and mind and every waking and sleeping moment and it is the most beautiful and precious thing. EVER.

His coo's melt me.
His breath calms me.
His wandering eyes make me stop and look at the simplicity of the objects he fixates on.
His hands are so soft when they stroke me back.
His eyelashes are getting darker.
His hair is disappearing, and changes from blond to red to light brown to blond to red to light brown to...
His eyes are still blue.
He becomes absolutely still when his diaper is filling. :)
He burps strong enough to make his Aunt Tyia proud.
He LOVES his baths. The warm water and floating in it. (YAY!!!)
He eats. All day long.
He sleeps. Rarely.
He has a best friend that has four legs and a beard. He loves to play with her beard and she lets him. (Oh Sadie, how lucky we are to have you!)

I stare at him. As much as I can and as often as possible. In daylight, and in nightlight. Even when I should be sleeping, and I'm delirious with tiredness, I can't take my eyes off him. He amazes me. He soothes me. He inspires me.

Asher Scott Huntsman, you have quite a story to be told. It began as soon as you did. It will have to wait for another day, because...

He stirs... (wait little buddy, I have just started to type!)

He wakes.
Dang. We'll try to catch up again later.
For now, there is a little 22 inch little man I'm going to go hold and cuddle and smell and feed.

These keys and the glow of this screen just don't compete anymore. ;)

Ash's first Fourth of July... In Rady's Childrens Hospital

Two Days...

In two days:
I will be holding him.
I will touch his little fingers that I already know.
I will smell his scent, and know he is of me, and is mine.
I will fret over his safety and comfort.
I will celebrate every poop, pee, blink, breath, and twitch.
I will be in awe of this little creature, no doubt!
I will trace his back and belly with my fingers, and hope he recognizes the pattern, and knows it's still me.
My breasts will become a source of nutrients, and be desired by a lil man like never before. heh.
My house will not be quiet. Perhaps ever again. :)
The lulling coos of Sadie snoring next to me will not be the only sounds of sleep.
Sleep may not even exist.
The laundry will never be completely done.
The kitchen may never be completely clean.
The dust bunnies may become new accessories and finally be in fashion!
My nails will start to weaken, and well groomed manicures will be a long gone thing in the past.
My hair will start to lose the thickness. (Note: I have CHERISHED the feeling of having almost 1/2 the thickness of the ponytail my beloved sister Tyia has naturally... and will continue to envy her luck of this gene forever, and will miss it dearly when my normal hair is back and I have a mere 1/8th of what she has.)
My belly will be floppy.
I will miss the little kicks and jabs and pokes and swipes of the life it once held inside.
I will miss feeling his hiccups and dancing jigs.
I will be able to sleep on my back again.
I will not have to pee every 13 minutes.
I will not have to eat every 120 minutes.
I will not have to prick my finger and monitor my sugar levels 4 times a day.
I will eat a starburst.
I will kiss his feet.
I will kiss his head.
I will kiss his belly.
I will kiss his elbows, and knees, and neck, and every little inch of him!
I will sing to him.
I will read to him.
I will rock with him.
I will cry, with tears of happiness, tears of fear, tears of sleep deprivation.
I will try, as hard as I can, to share and let someone else hold him, and know that he will be fine.
I will be sore, and will not think about it, because he will be sore too.
I will devour a brownie and drink a smoothie.

In two days, I will be a mother.
To a Son.
To my Son.
For eternity.

I will no longer be in the maternity club.
My waddle will slowly disappear.
I will be a lifelong member of the motherhood club.
I will develop eyes in the back of my head and lightning fast reflexes.
I will always sleep with one eye open and keep one ear turned in his direction.
I will learn so many new things, ways, feelings, joys, frustrations, and will grow.
I will grow every day, alongside with him.
We will walk this path together.

Will I remember what my life before him was like? I have already started to forget. He has already become my life. And I love my new life. I already love this new little life.

In two days, and I will meet the love of my life.

Two days.

Two days...

Are our bags really ready?

My bag is packed.

I think.

I keep going through it, adding more, taking more out, switching items. Switching totes. Switching totes again. Do I use a small suitcase? Do I use two small totes? Do I use the sling bag Ty brought me from Hawaii? How much is too much, and how little is too little?
A new nightgown and robe Mom and I purchased while she was here.
Socks and panties.
Nursing bras.
Lotion and toiletries.
Camera charger and extra batteries.
A sudoku book.
Aromatherapy oils and diffuser.
MP3 player loaded with sounds of nature, meditation, and reggae.
Disposable breast pads.
Pen and paper.
Hard sugar free candy.
Magazine (that Ty and Mom will wrestle over for sure!)
Burts Bees lip balm. Two of them.
Slippers (Nikki's Thanksgiving gift from a few years ago continues to get GREAT use!!!)

His bag is packed:
A receiving blanket hand crocheted by his Grandma (thanks Mom).
Two onesies.
Mittens.
A hat (with Iron On prints from the shower provided by his Auntie Samantha and decorated by his Aunt Tyia)
Baby book and Ink to capture his foot and hand prints.
Two diapers, with little cut outs to protect his sensitive umbilical cord.

Did I do this right?

I hope so...

Tick Tock..

I'm starting to understand what women meant by "that last month"... I honestly do not believe my skin can stretch any further. Seriously. My belly is numb. And as hard as I try, it is impossible to "suck in" or take the pressure off.

He moves much stronger - everyday. Sometimes it tickles beyond belief. Sometimes it feels like my entire insides are made of nothing by "funny bone" lining. And sometimes, he kicks or punches in just the right spot that makes me double over. He gets up under my right rib and rubs it and I swear sometimes he is trying to do chin ups with it. :)

I have to pee all the time. ALL the time. As soon as I get my pants done back up and hands washed, I am ready to go again. It feels like I just drank 6 iced teas, but I don't release more than a shot glass worth.

I waddle when I walk. And with every step it feels like my tail bone wags. Like my pelvic cavity is a gigantic water balloon sloshing with each swaying movement. My hips feel soft, like there is no strong support where my bones move in the sockets. My feet feel miles away. My back is sore and I become tired quickly. It is bizarre!!!

I've been really good with the diet since Gestational Diabetes came on, and it's helped with the swelling. And I try to move slowly, and not often to keep the Braxton Hicks away... but they seem to keep coming more frequently and stronger, no matter what I do, or don't do.

Sleep, although this is the #1 recommendation from everyone, is not so easy to come by. No matter how many pillows I have, or positions I try, it is impossible to get comfortable. :) Poor Rich, when he was home last weekend, he was such a trooper. There's not very much room for him in the bed with all the pillows. And he says I snore now. He used to say I "purred", but now.... I snore. No matter what angle or position or elevation I'm in. :)

My little man will be here soon. His room is not ready. This house is still not unpacked. He still does not have a name. I want to read more books, take more classes, observe more parents so I do this right. I hope he will know that I love him, and will do the very best I can. I hope this will be enough, because I want the world for him. He is quickly becoming my world.

We have an appointment with Dr. B tomorrow. We'll do another ultrasound to see how much he's grown since the last one. Measure his body parts - femur, head, umbilical cord, weight estimates, see what position he is in, discuss all the options, and select the date for us to be induced. June 7 or June 12 were the dates last time. I've had 3 days with high glucose values, so I'm afraid it might be June 7th. I hope he's ready. There is a huge part of me that wishes we could wait... until he was ready. Until my water broke and I got to say "honey, it's time" and go through the natural course of childbirth. It seems strange, to pick a date and "plan" when he will arrive. It will probably be the last time of our existence where he is controlled. :) Nonetheless, we are still crossing our fingers it will be a successful induction and we get to have a natural birth, opposed to a c-section. Fingers crossed indeed.

I'm a bundle of nerves tonight. Filled with fear, anxiety, excitement, panic, and love. I know everything will be fine. This has been an amazing experience, and will only continue to be so...

Pre Natal Massages are the BEST!!!

THere are still so many boxes that need unpacked. They line the hallways, the doorways, the closet paths, fill the corners of every room... and we have less than FOUR weeks before he is here!!! Yikes!!! :) 


But today was a good day - I took a break from unpacking and doing dishes and general home stuff and went to my little sleepy beach town Encinitas for a very, VERY, relaxing pre-natal massage - courtesy of Rich as my first Mother's Day gift. :)

Melissa at Indigo Dragon was fantastic. I don't know why I didn't do this sooner!!! She had ocean music playing the entire time, and actually fell asleep on the table... TWICE!!! For a girl who doesn't sleep for more than 2 hours without waking up these days, lemme tell you how big of an accomplishment that is!!! When I was done, I felt like I was floating... I promised myself I would go again - right after my maternity leave starts and before I am induced. It will be a big help for me to transition from "work mode" and get prepared for "mother mode"... and it was just to fabulous to not do.

Before heading home, I stopped by Beacons to watch the surfers and continue the peaceful feeling. I can't stop smiling. I am bursting with happiness. Everything is right in my world, and so beautiful.

One last stop at Trader Joes for some nutrients and I made it back home to my beloved Sadie. After a delicious dinner of eggplant and spicy Italian sausage with a side garden salad made with fresh basil and grape tomatoes and crumbled gorgonzola and walnuts, we headed upstairs to cuddle and watch some TV. I watched her more than the glowing screen. It's been EONS since we've been able to just sit and snuggle. She is such a great companion. My shadow, my loyal friend. I wish I could help her understand what is about to happen, so she would know that everything is ok and this is a good thing... but something tells me that she already know this, and that we're all going to get along just fine.

I am so excited for this weekend! We are doing the Lamaze crash course to help prepare us for this birth. It will take all day Saturday and Sunday and in the evenings we'll be putting the house together. Rich got the call from Babies R Us today that the crib arrived so we get to build it too and officially start assembling the nursery! I'm so excited!!!!

Braxton Hicks... or Alien Contortionism, either title is appropriate

One of the joys (besides this little life who constantly kicks, and probes, and pokes, and traces his little hands or feet, or bottom, or head all around my hip bones, ribs, and entire middle section) is Braxton Hicks. The first time I felt it, it was very early on in my pregnancy. Very early. And it hurt, because the strands of scar tissue from 18 years of endometriosis were pulling and snapping with each tightening. I remember that day very clearly. I was just barely showing in that "she must have had a few too many Thanksgiving Dinner sized portion meals" way rather than being pregnant. I went to walk Sadie for her morning relief session. I got halfway down the stairs from our second story condo and I felt pain. REAL PAIN. But I thought, "Power through this Kate... you can do it. Sadie needs you to." And we continued. With each step I took, I thought a knife was jabbing all around inside me, and my abdomen got tighter and tighter. It stopped me in my tracks. Luckily Sadie was done and we headed back towards our home. By the time I got upstairs, another painful session was just starting. I sat down on the couch, leaned my head back and tears streamed down my cheeks. I wondered then, what I was getting myself into. (Initially, we thought it was round ligament pain, but my Dr confirmed at my next appointment this was normal - just that most ladies don't feel it until much later in pregnancy... those without endometriosis anyway.)

After that day, I didn't experience Braxton Hicks until much, much later... and now they are fun, er funny.

It started again just over a month ago. But this time, all the scar tissue had long been broken, and now there was this fantastic little round shape and I had seen his face in ultrasounds and heard his heartbeat at numerous Dr appointments, and have been feeling his movements for a months now. He is so real inside me, and there is no pain, so these little exercises have become quite fun. Entertaining even for those who are lucky enough to witness it.

We moved from my beloved condo (I LOVED living there) two weeks ago... and with moving comes packing - which really means a lot of reaching and bending and lifting and carrying and all the things one is not supposed to be doing in her third trimester. Rich has been traveling for work and vacation, and I wanted to be superwoman and still get it done. (I am still learning the valuable lesson that it is ok to say No and let others do it and help, but I digress...) Alas, with all this motion, the tightening has come on in full force. This last week especially. Saturday was a very active day, with a lot of walking.... and a series of constant flexing of the uterus in a very short time period. Sunday was even worse. I counted 18 within 3 hours. Yeah... not exactly the most comforting thing at 33 weeks. Adding a little lower back pain and menstrual type cramping sensation can make it a little more scary. Needless to say, these boxes that still surround me are looking a lot better as the new decor as I'm not as eager to unleash the treasures they hold within... that can wait until the weekends when Rich is back in town and can help. :)

I downloaded a cool little application for my iPhone that lets me track the time, duration, intervals, and intensity of contractions... I'm getting my $.99 worth and using it to track the Braxton Hicks too. It's been really good training - to pay attention to my body, and get prepared for what is ahead.

This is what it looks like when I have a strong Braxton Hick. The only thing that comes to mind in trying to describe this is: It's like the "just seen on TV" vacuum bags for sweaters... only it is like someone stuck it in me and is shrink wrapping him so tight. My body contorts and makes the strangest shapes. It's always fun to "see" what position he's in.

And then two minutes later, the tightness releases, and the most calm sensation takes over, my belly relaxes, and so do we... The round dome comes back, and I say to him "Sorry honey, that's just your mommy giving you a squeeze of love" and then I say to my uterus "Good girl!!! You keep practicing and get strong so we can do this in just a few weeks!" Then, instead of a round of celebratory high-fives, I do gentle swirls and circles of soft hand strokes. It's a neat moment...

Pregnancy is amazing. It truly is a miracle in every sense of the word. I have loved this, and will miss it - but soon, I will have a new bundle of skin and chubby cheeks to occupy my time, my heart, my eyes, my ears, my breasts, and my sleep to distract me and I will relish in the next phase. But for today, I love this phase… where he is just mine, for very soon I will have to share him with the world. ;)

Painting the Roses Red... er BLUE!

The nursery was painted today!!! The before, was two-toned in teals. And we wanted blue, for our boy, and his underwater themed nursery. The same blue that had surrounded me in the previous condo that I had grown to love.

Rich is on a business trip, and I can't be with the fumes, so our dear landloard from the condo came to our new house and spent the day helping to transition this magical room. It was really cool of him. :)

Here is the before:

And here is the after:

And now the fun begins... building the castle that will house my prince. The room we will spend many, many hours in sleeping, eating, burping, pooping, peeing, playing, reading, singing, and all sorts of other activities unknown to me. At night, we will look out the window, and see beyond the swaying palm fronds and watch the twinkle lights on the hills that are not house lights, but fairies that are just outside, protecting him.

This weekend, for Mother's Day, we'll go shopping for the nursery essentials. We'll order the crib, purchase the mattress, look for his dresser, and the rocking chair/glider, and other fun pieces that will make our lives easier, and his more comfortable. I can't wait. :)

Elevate & Hydrate

So THIS is what they talk about... the whole "swelling" of the feet. Only it doesn't just stop there... it continues up what used to be my ankles, which are now barely even cankles (they are more like a continued extension of my THIGH), up my thigh, my bodacious booty, fingers, wrists, forearms, flappers, neck, and finally my cheeks.

On a normal day, this is what my feet look like:

On a swelling day, this is what my feet look like:

The skin is crazy tight, I can barely walk - the skin won't stretch to let the normal human movement take place. Besides the huge mass of belly that sways with each stride, this restrictive motion REALLY makes me look like a penguin. It is comedy.

The solution? Elevate and Hydrate of course!

mmmmm'mmmmm good

Food is good. Wait, let's rephrase that... good food is great!


I've always been food conscious, and preferred the natural healthy snacks to the packaged preservative stuffed junk food. Working at Trader Joe's for a few years really helped to educate me and solidify both how and why I choose to fuel my body the way I do. Don't get me wrong though... a sugary breakfast and decadent dessert is still my favorite!

Entering the 3rd trimester, the books tell me Omega 3's are the most critical now and the first month that little Peanut is here - as that is when his brain is developing the most. So tonight, I challenged Rachel Ray to my own 30 minute meal: Salmon, Kale, Mashers, and Tomatoes.

The wild Alaskan salmon was seasoned with some delicious bar-b-q spices (ok, i cheated at this part - Costco sells these individually wrapped in the frozen section and it is AWESOME! From freezer to table, you're only 28-32 mins max!). Line a small baking dish with foil for easy clean up (this is a must learn trick, I was late in the game in getting this down, but it is HUGE timesaver later on. hee hee). Plop it in the oven for 28 mins and start the next project...

Next, cut up some baby red potatoes (I love these for many reasons: you don't have to peel them, they look pretty with colors, and it just feels like home), boil'em up, mash'em down with some milk, a little butter, and some pressed garlic.

While the salmon was baking, I de-bibbed the Kale. I have no idea if that is even a culinary technique, let alone a word, but Rachel makes up her own words on her show all the time so I figured all was fair in this game. De-bibbing in my kitchen is simply cutting the dark green leaf away from the bitter spine. You DEFINATELY do not want to eat that part. :X Toss the leafy strips into a skillet, pour 1/4 cup of water over it, top it with the lid and let it simmer... Oh, and just in case you were wondering why it is important to wash each leaf individually before cooking it (rather than just rinsing a fist-full at a time) is because little critters sometimes live in the leaves, in your fridge, and survive, for up to 4 days... I patiently waited for the little, and I'm sure very cold, lady bug crawl onto my hand so I could carefully release him (he was big - and HAD to be a grandpa for sure!) onto my garden on the balcony.

Potatoes boiling, Kale steaming, Salmon Baking... time to assemble the finishing touches. Chop up a tomato, roll a lemon, grind the salt and grind the pepper. The kale finished first, so I drained the water and sprinkled it with the salt, pepper, lemon juice, and tossed in a few tomato cubes. mmmmm.

Made for a super yummy, full of nutrients, and easy dinner. Oh, and clean up - 3 mins (and that included adding the soap to the dishwasher). If I can pull this off, anyone can. :)   (Sorry for the pic, meal had started to be gobbled down before it dawned on me... this was totally blog worthy and i should take a pic).

The Crib!

Tonight was awesome. We picked out a crib. A CRIB. I cannot believe it. Reality is hitting stronger and stronger everyday now. My belly is, well, full. And it moves all the time with little bumps and shakes that make it contort into strange shapes even when I'm relaxed. I stare at it and try to comprehend there is a little boy inside me making all of this happen. And I am in awe.

Between now and June, Rich is only going to be "home" for a few days so we're trying to make the most of it by getting the nest ready. After work, we ventured off to Babies R Us to check out the options and do the research on car seats, strollers, cribs, etc... and start the registry. Holy overwhelming!!!  There is SOOOOO much in that store, we were super lucky the girl getting us set up was honest  with "don't really bother to go into that section, you don't need any of it. Definitely select a few of these, you'll use 3 a day. Start here, and don't even think of going into this section without help" type comments. She was great. :)

So we started in the nursery section... looking for the "underwater sea beach" theme. We came upon one set that we both loved. It was fresh, soft pastel colors of blues, greens, tans, and simply adorable. Very white too. Seeing it set up as one of the displays, I asked Rich if he could see his son in there. He teared up. I smiled. We thought we had it picked out until we got to the next row. Then there it was!!! The best of everything! Boats, underwater creatures, monkeys, and dark colors! After looking at it for a while, we came to the conclusion this would adapt better into toddler years. 

and even better... is was displayed on the crib we wanted so we could "see what it looked like on" :D

What makes this crib so great (besides it's beautifulness and sleekness), is it converts to the toddler bed (with the bar so he can't roll out), then a day bed, and eventually a full size bed. Now, in all attempts to be realistic, will it make it that far? Probably not without dents and scratches and stickers and markers... but it will be his art work, that he'll get to live with for many years to come. :)

Feeling rather accomplished, we moved into more of the necessities to go with the bed... the mattresses. Rich was a sport to make sure it was good and strong.

We didn't get much done after the bedding as the store was closing... so when he finally gets home again our "date night" will be to finish selecting the items to build our little man's castle. I can't wait. :)

But even more... I can't wait to get into our new home so we can start putting the nursery together.

It will be here so quickly!

A Working Mom and Sadie's Adjustment

This is my view today.

This is what I see all day - my belly and my laptop.

And my adorable little Sadie.

I don't know what is going on with her beard here... perhaps she's attempting to grow a combover? Or just trying to tell me it is time to visit the salon :)

She is funny. She knows something is going on, but has no idea what. But she already has some sense and understanding of "off limits". This began a few months ago when I brought home fabric to sew baby blankets. Even laid out on the floor, she would not walk on the fabric, but would only curiously look at it, and then walk around it. :)

She always used to just jump up on the sofa and snuggle next to me. Now she waits for me to say it's ok. I didn't teach her this, she is doing it on her own. :)  Last night was hilarious though. I've been spending most of my "sitting" time on the long sofa where she has plenty of room to stretch out next to me. Last night I was sitting in the chair. The last time we snuggled in the chair my belly was only just a bump. So when I encouraged her to jump up with me, she eagerly took flight... but mid-air (I kid you not) she saw the belly and literally tried to slow down. It was the most hilarious image! And when she landed, she slid, trying to turn and not crash into this object that was now occupying where she usually sat. Once she arrived, she looked so puzzled as she looked at me, then at my belly, then at me, as if to say "Where is that from, and what is it doing in MY seat?" I laughed, hard. She eventually settled down in the now small space between me and the arm and was content to lay her head on my leg. I'll take any Sadie snuggle I can get, and I think she feels the same.

I treasure the time I can take her to the dog park. I know it's going to be a lot harder once Peanut arrives, and not knowing where we'll be living I'm not sure if we'll go to her beloved San Elijo Hills dog park. She knows the route and when we make the first right turn to head in that direction she gets very excited. And so do I.

St Partrick's Day Tradition

Corned beef, cabbage, carrots, and potatoes.

Mmmmmm.

While wearing green, I started my day putting the beef in the crock pot. That is a new gadget to me, but one that will soon become my new best friend I think. Rich had been gone on a business trip (shocker) and was coming home at 7pm so I wanted to surprise him with a fun traditional meal! I had no idea how it would turn out... or if he'd like it, but I was excited to give it a try.

The meat simmered all day, and filled this little home with the most yummy smell! I loved it!!! Knowing I need to practice having meals at a routine time, I've been making a valiant effort to do this. So after I closed up work for the day, I tossed in the potatoes and set the table. Just before I left for the airport to get Rich, I added the carrots, and cabbage.

And it turned out fabulously!!! As soon as we walked in the door, everything was ready to go!

While Rich unloaded his bags, I plated up the super tender meat (drool).

All in all, I was pretty pleased with how it turned out and was super happy for the leftovers... :)

The Trailer of Peanut!

I had no idea my insides were ticklish. My outside skin is not too bad... I might squirm with the occasional pedicure when they "buff" the arches... but oh my - i have a little pogo stick inside me that cracks me up and makes me physically shift positions when I can't stand it anymore. I think he's playing with me... he knows that soon i will be tickling him and will have the advantage. Yep, he's a smarty already (i like to think!).

This last week, while I as in Denver, it was late and the Olympics were on in the background in my hotel room, and I was getting caught up on work emails and he was super active - more than usual. I looked away from the glowing screen on my propped-up legs and looked down and my belly. Just to the right of my belly button (which seems to get smaller, or shallower, everyday now) I watched this pulsing movement as it paired with the tickle inside. I was watching him move on the outside. Here it was, for others to see the results of his movement within me. And I laid my hand across that spot to feel it. FINALLY. Others can finally feel this little miracle inside me. It is so funny how this confirmation "makes it real."

When I got to Phoenix for the weekend, Tyia was the first to feel him, but it was so soft and gentle. Nothing like that night in the hotel. Mom got to feel on little poke the next night, but again, nothing strong like it had been.

My bladder seems to get the majority of the targets these days. It doesn't hurt - but it is such an awkward and distracting feeling. I don't hold a poker face very well, so everyone seems to know when he's on the trampoline. :)

I am loving being pregnant. Every single minute of it.

Last night, Rich got to feel his son move for the first time. He was stronger and consistent. Multiple ninja kicks were proudly delivered right into his daddy's fingers. It was so fun. Rich got to feel him wiggle again this morning. I'm so glad!

This afternoon we had our monthly prenatal visit and got a little surprise. The ultrasound machine we used earlier this month to "witness" his manliness was broken and unable to print. So our Dr. today gave me a wink and took us back into the magic room. The machine started out in the 3-d mode. Instantly, on this big flat screen was my son and his perfectly round little face with eyes and ears and a nose and lips and a hand that kept brushing under his nose and fat little arms and the umbilical cord. There are no words to describe this moment! The first time you see your 22 week old son, the size of an 8 inch spaghetti squash and weighing 1 pound, in a real people suit with real people features and movements - there are no words in this earthly language. I was blown away. 

He made his debut on You Tube though. Even though he won't be here for another 4 months... click the link for the TRAILER of what is coming. I simply have no words for this... only a grin a mile wide.

Watch Peanut Here

To celebrate these milestones, we went to our favorite Thai restaurant and I ordered extra spicy, just to see how he'd do. Let's just say he's not stopped moving in the last 20 minutes. :)  Orange juice, Grapefruits off his Grandpa and Grandma's tree, and Nattiya's delicious soups are his favorites. Rest assured, we're going to get along just fine. :)

My belly continues to grow, and so much faster than I expected! I've only gained 2 pounds since my 8 week visit... so I can't figure out where this expansion is coming from... but I am loving this.

Even though I can't wait to meet him, I treasure every second of this miraculous experience while he grows inside me. It's our own special time, and we have our own special secrets. I honestly do not ever remember being so happy. I have such a peace, and a never ending smile within my soul.  I saw a quote by Elizabeth Stone today: "Making the decision to have a child is momentous... it is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside of your body." What a wise woman.

Oatmeal - and the many benefits it brings to my heart

Eating healthy has always come easy, and natural. But if I can find corners to cut, I'll admit - I'll use'em. Lately, the corners aren't worth it - not with this little man inside me - he deserves the fullness of what this earth has to offer. So instead of grabbing my favorite multi-flavor box of instant oatmeal on my last grocery hunt, I opted for the real deal: McCann's Irish Oatmeal. 

Today was the perfect day to try it out - it was cold and rainy outside and I need the fiber (thanks again lil man). :) I measure the water, I measure the oats, I stir... and stir... and stir... and finally the porage becomes smooth and thicker and I can let it simmer. Knowing it must simmer for 30 minutes, I begin my work day. Answer emails, make a few calls - returning to stir between each interaction. It's finally done! And then I realize... I need to reach my sister for her ever-available advice! And so it goes:

Kattie: hi! if one were to make oatmeal (the REAL stuff, not instant) in which it required "simmering" for 30 minutes, creating a monster of a build up on the bottom of the pan (possibly burnt - jury is still out) - what wonderous tricks can be done to ease the pains of cleaning the precious pot?



nicoyar: hahaha!!! boil baking soda right in the pot. It will pull most of it up. Keep the pot warm, a wire wisk does a great job of "scrapping up" the burned on bits too. Once you let it cool it will be harder to get off, so keep it warm/hot.


Kattie: excellent... thanks!!!


nicoyar: Good luck!!! And next time make it the night before inthe crock pot!! LOL add cinnamon, nutmeg, and dried fruit. You'll LOVE it! just put it on low all night


Kattie: i was comparing the nutritional value from these raw oats against the instant, and thought "for 35 mins of effort, the payoff is well worth it" apparently i did not account for clean up time.


nicoyar: ROFL


Kattie: it will make a pretty can to decorate once it's all gone though! hee hee


nicoyar: totally!!


Kattie: mmmm, crock pot - that I will def do! i need fiber. bad. yay home cooking! ok... gotta go boil some white powder thanks again!


*time elapses*
Kattie: you are a genious!!! It totally worked!!!! My pot is spotless... now to clean the mess on the stove from the mini volcano that now looks like melted marshmellow - all over - we're talking within a 5 inch radius of the burner. Teach me to turn my back and slice a pear and sprinkle blueberries on porage while boiling powder. In the end, I have: delivious natural and healthy oatmeal, a clean pot, a destroyed stove, and even weaker confidence on how i'm going to pull this off for a mini-human! hahaha


nicoyar: the baking soda will be good to clean the stove with. It's a great scouring agent LOL and your mini human will be just fine... they'll be over eating the dog poop on the floor (because you were too busy to take Sadie on a walk) while you clean up one mess after another. hee hee hee You're going to LOVE being a mother!!! *knowing grin*  And I'll love being your big sister who has "been there done that and have the stains on my tee-shirt to prove it" who gets to help you


Kattie: *sigh of relief* recycled nutrients, a clean house, and a mother of tried and true wisdom - what more can I hope for!

-end chat-

Blueberries, pear, and spices made it just right!

I've thought about my dear sister a lot today. I turn to her so often for wisdom, advice, or just an ear to vent to and she - without fail - is always there to support me. Sometimes it might be coaching, sometimes it might be to help me see things from a different view, and sometimes it just might be to simply agree with my insane ramblings and merely calm my soul. How lucky I am to have her as my sister. I love her so very much.

Today my belly was full of yummy nutrients, and my heart filled with love and appreciation. Thanks again for another lovely lesson Nik. ;)

It grows!

:)

The mystery is revealed!!!!

I did not think I would sleep last night. I was in awe of what we were going to do today. I took a long shower, thinking "I'm so excited to learn who you are going to be" and at the same time, felt a twinge of "but this anticipation, and unknown is so fun. I love you for you, not for your gender."

I woke up early and laid in bed. Just listening to Sadie snore and Rich breathing next to me. Today I will see you - and you will not be that little blob on the screen. Today you will have limbs, shape to your body, a brain, organs, heart beat, and SOMETHING between your little legs that will tell us so much.

I checked my phone - Auntie Ty was already texting, soon after Nana started - both sharing this was more exciting than Christmas morning as a 6 year old. :) I felt more like a 6 year old about to do a gymnastics routine in a talent show. I showered, ate, and paced. It was time to go, and I was giddy and nervous and excited and scared. We had your Nana's luck with us and got parking space close to the Dr's office. It was Rich's first time being at this new Dr, and he instantly felt at ease in the new surroundings. We checked in, looked at the pictures hanging on the walls, flipped through a book laying on a table, and I was still texting the family - play by play.

"I can't stand this!!!! :) My heart is racing and there is a butterfly festival in my belly"

The Dr was still in surgery, and was running behind. After 20 minutes, the receptionist took us back into a small room. It was dimly lit, white leather couches, and very calm. It was neat, as Rich and I had privacy to talk about what we were about to experience. About 40 minutes after we'd been in this room, and we heard his voice. We were like teenagers with front row tickets waiting for our favorite band to take the stage.

A knock on the door and we were invited to step into the next room - with the magic machine that would let us see what you have been up to, and how you are growing. The Dr came in, greeted us with hugs and was ready to get started. I jumped up on the table and the low hum of the machine noise turned on. The warm goopy gel was squirted on my round belly, and there it was! Peanut - on a big flat screen TV mounted on the wall. Dr B spotted it right away. My eyes were fixated on the shape of a body - inside me - and Rich was faithfully looking through the lens of the camera to capture this rare moment. Dr B said, are you ready to know? Of course we both exclaimed "YES!" and he said: "It's a boy - you're going to have a boy"

I couldn't believe it! A SON! I couldn't quite see "it" on the screen, and Dr B continued with his assessment.

Here's the recap of Peanut's routine:

Swimming motion - arms moving, legs moving, body squirming.

He turns on his side, and waves - fingers opening and closing, fist moving back and forth.

Turns around, seperates his little legs, bends over, and proudly shows all his glory.

(I crack up at this point - I mean, can this little guy be any more cooperative!?!?)

Concludes his show by laying back down, and going to sleep.

A boy.

A son.

My son.

Our son.

In retrospect, I have to wonder: Is this the proud confidence of a mini punk rocker following in his father's footsteps? Or is this the mischievious behavior of a pixie? Or is this really just my son, knowing he had to help out and give us this show?

I can't wait to meet him - and learn who he will be.

Popcorn Popping?

10:09pm
My feet are hoisted up on the coffee table. Sadie is snuggled up next to me, snoring. Rich is in Denver. The TV is low, and my mind is relaxing. Softly, I feel a sensation like I've never felt before. Everything around me was still. Inside, on my right side, just below my belly button, I felt a tap. There it was again. And again. Three very distinctive taps.

Could this be? Could this be it?!?!?

I didn't dare move.

10:14pm
I feel it again - like popcorn popping. Two more taps...

This has to be it!

I sat motionless for the next 2 hours. The only muscles that moved were thouse of my raised eyebrows, eyes that grew large, and the corners of my mouth that turned upwards.

I felt, for the first time, the life inside me.

TIMBER!!!!!

January 21, 2010:


SoCal's getting a nice little washing from Mother Nature - and it is so welcomed!!! Heaven know we've needed some rain for a long time now, and boy are we getting it!

Last night, we had quite a storm come through - LOUD thunder (which is VERY RARE in these parts), Lightning (again, rare!), CRAZY strong winds (Carlsbad reported in the 60 mph), Hail (it's been a few years since I've seen it, but then again, I'm not home that often), and the rain... a LOT of rain. We've had water spouts, high surf (its 20 foot today!!!), tornado warnings (Fox 5 reported 2 touched down in North County yesterday), Flooding (Leucadia, Del Mar, and Ocean Beach were all underwater yesterday and Sorrento Valley was evacuated today), etc... I could go on but I think you're getting the picture. At about 10:30pm there was finally a break from the rain so Sadie and I made our way to the little grass patch just outside the door. The wind was still pretty strong, so we didn't go far. But as Sadie did her ritual of sniffing every blade of grass before she could relieve herself, I looked up at the Giant Eucalyptus tree waving in the wind. I giggled to myself and thought "How Dr. Seussey you look in this wind - gently swaying your arms and bushels of leaves as if you were waving hello to us." Then Sadie was done, and back inside we went (er, ran...).

This morning, the wind and rain woke me up instead of my alarm. I just lay in bed and listened and was so grateful I'm in a nice warm house, on a second story. :) It finally started to calm down, so I figured Sadie and I would take advantage of the break and do the morning potty walk. We braved the wind and got as far as the corner of our street... and then, out of NOWHERE... a complete downpour! Sadie was shocked. I laughed. We quickly made our way back to the house. As I began my workday, I opened the blinds to let in the natural light (and so I could continue to watch the storm). As the morning rolled on, about 9:45, I was finally eating my oatmeal and preparing from my next call. The rain had stopped again, but the wind was just being nuts! I timed this next part just right - as I looked to my left, outside the big window, I started to hear a low growling noise and there it came... that big tree that waived hello last night started to fall and FAST! It made a large snapping noise as it hit the concrete. I jumped up - because my car was parked right outside, and near where this tree was going. How very lucky we are!!! The tree fell shy of my car by THREE FEET!!! There were leaves all over it, but no branches. I ran next door to alert my neighbor - his truck was right next to the tree - again, luckily on the other side from where it fell! He called the association and within an hour, the tree remover magicians were fast at work. They chopped it up into so many little pieces, filled two dumpster type trucks with it, and were off within 30 minutes. I have to admit, I'm a little sad the giant tree is now gone, and have to wonder, did it know last night and was actually waving goodbye? On the bright side, I'll start parking in the lot again (not the street) and have fewer car washes thanks to no more white birdie treats to decorate the black paint. :)

Tonight, I am grateful. You see, when we were little kids, Mom and Dad would take us to Mexico. I remember always being so humbled when we crossed the border back into our country. Driving on clean and organized streets, into well kept neighborhoods, and back to our home always seemed to be a quiet ride - I think everyone in the car was thinking the same. Sleeping in my warm bed, and having a house with carpet, and big protected yard to play in. Mom and Dad were good to teach us early how blessed we, and our nation, are. As I grew older and have had the joys of traveling to Peru, Laos, Cambodia, and Thailand - that same feeling of humility and gratitude continues to grow and my appreciation is so much deeper. My heart is tender tonight. I've been following the Haiti news so closely - so to go through a minor experience such as I did this morning, my heart is so full of gratitude for where I was born and where I live and how very lucky we are to be warm, safe, protected, and with services so readily available to keep our streets safe and clean.

The tree pics are below for your amusement.

Enjoy the storm, be safe, and know that you are loved! ;)

xoxo,

Kattie, Peanut, and Sadie

Yep, that's my little black Jetta "Gorilla" *phew!*