Tick Tock..

I'm starting to understand what women meant by "that last month"... I honestly do not believe my skin can stretch any further. Seriously. My belly is numb. And as hard as I try, it is impossible to "suck in" or take the pressure off.

He moves much stronger - everyday. Sometimes it tickles beyond belief. Sometimes it feels like my entire insides are made of nothing by "funny bone" lining. And sometimes, he kicks or punches in just the right spot that makes me double over. He gets up under my right rib and rubs it and I swear sometimes he is trying to do chin ups with it. :)

I have to pee all the time. ALL the time. As soon as I get my pants done back up and hands washed, I am ready to go again. It feels like I just drank 6 iced teas, but I don't release more than a shot glass worth.

I waddle when I walk. And with every step it feels like my tail bone wags. Like my pelvic cavity is a gigantic water balloon sloshing with each swaying movement. My hips feel soft, like there is no strong support where my bones move in the sockets. My feet feel miles away. My back is sore and I become tired quickly. It is bizarre!!!

I've been really good with the diet since Gestational Diabetes came on, and it's helped with the swelling. And I try to move slowly, and not often to keep the Braxton Hicks away... but they seem to keep coming more frequently and stronger, no matter what I do, or don't do.

Sleep, although this is the #1 recommendation from everyone, is not so easy to come by. No matter how many pillows I have, or positions I try, it is impossible to get comfortable. :) Poor Rich, when he was home last weekend, he was such a trooper. There's not very much room for him in the bed with all the pillows. And he says I snore now. He used to say I "purred", but now.... I snore. No matter what angle or position or elevation I'm in. :)

My little man will be here soon. His room is not ready. This house is still not unpacked. He still does not have a name. I want to read more books, take more classes, observe more parents so I do this right. I hope he will know that I love him, and will do the very best I can. I hope this will be enough, because I want the world for him. He is quickly becoming my world.

We have an appointment with Dr. B tomorrow. We'll do another ultrasound to see how much he's grown since the last one. Measure his body parts - femur, head, umbilical cord, weight estimates, see what position he is in, discuss all the options, and select the date for us to be induced. June 7 or June 12 were the dates last time. I've had 3 days with high glucose values, so I'm afraid it might be June 7th. I hope he's ready. There is a huge part of me that wishes we could wait... until he was ready. Until my water broke and I got to say "honey, it's time" and go through the natural course of childbirth. It seems strange, to pick a date and "plan" when he will arrive. It will probably be the last time of our existence where he is controlled. :) Nonetheless, we are still crossing our fingers it will be a successful induction and we get to have a natural birth, opposed to a c-section. Fingers crossed indeed.

I'm a bundle of nerves tonight. Filled with fear, anxiety, excitement, panic, and love. I know everything will be fine. This has been an amazing experience, and will only continue to be so...

Pre Natal Massages are the BEST!!!

THere are still so many boxes that need unpacked. They line the hallways, the doorways, the closet paths, fill the corners of every room... and we have less than FOUR weeks before he is here!!! Yikes!!! :) 


But today was a good day - I took a break from unpacking and doing dishes and general home stuff and went to my little sleepy beach town Encinitas for a very, VERY, relaxing pre-natal massage - courtesy of Rich as my first Mother's Day gift. :)

Melissa at Indigo Dragon was fantastic. I don't know why I didn't do this sooner!!! She had ocean music playing the entire time, and actually fell asleep on the table... TWICE!!! For a girl who doesn't sleep for more than 2 hours without waking up these days, lemme tell you how big of an accomplishment that is!!! When I was done, I felt like I was floating... I promised myself I would go again - right after my maternity leave starts and before I am induced. It will be a big help for me to transition from "work mode" and get prepared for "mother mode"... and it was just to fabulous to not do.

Before heading home, I stopped by Beacons to watch the surfers and continue the peaceful feeling. I can't stop smiling. I am bursting with happiness. Everything is right in my world, and so beautiful.

One last stop at Trader Joes for some nutrients and I made it back home to my beloved Sadie. After a delicious dinner of eggplant and spicy Italian sausage with a side garden salad made with fresh basil and grape tomatoes and crumbled gorgonzola and walnuts, we headed upstairs to cuddle and watch some TV. I watched her more than the glowing screen. It's been EONS since we've been able to just sit and snuggle. She is such a great companion. My shadow, my loyal friend. I wish I could help her understand what is about to happen, so she would know that everything is ok and this is a good thing... but something tells me that she already know this, and that we're all going to get along just fine.

I am so excited for this weekend! We are doing the Lamaze crash course to help prepare us for this birth. It will take all day Saturday and Sunday and in the evenings we'll be putting the house together. Rich got the call from Babies R Us today that the crib arrived so we get to build it too and officially start assembling the nursery! I'm so excited!!!!

Braxton Hicks... or Alien Contortionism, either title is appropriate

One of the joys (besides this little life who constantly kicks, and probes, and pokes, and traces his little hands or feet, or bottom, or head all around my hip bones, ribs, and entire middle section) is Braxton Hicks. The first time I felt it, it was very early on in my pregnancy. Very early. And it hurt, because the strands of scar tissue from 18 years of endometriosis were pulling and snapping with each tightening. I remember that day very clearly. I was just barely showing in that "she must have had a few too many Thanksgiving Dinner sized portion meals" way rather than being pregnant. I went to walk Sadie for her morning relief session. I got halfway down the stairs from our second story condo and I felt pain. REAL PAIN. But I thought, "Power through this Kate... you can do it. Sadie needs you to." And we continued. With each step I took, I thought a knife was jabbing all around inside me, and my abdomen got tighter and tighter. It stopped me in my tracks. Luckily Sadie was done and we headed back towards our home. By the time I got upstairs, another painful session was just starting. I sat down on the couch, leaned my head back and tears streamed down my cheeks. I wondered then, what I was getting myself into. (Initially, we thought it was round ligament pain, but my Dr confirmed at my next appointment this was normal - just that most ladies don't feel it until much later in pregnancy... those without endometriosis anyway.)

After that day, I didn't experience Braxton Hicks until much, much later... and now they are fun, er funny.

It started again just over a month ago. But this time, all the scar tissue had long been broken, and now there was this fantastic little round shape and I had seen his face in ultrasounds and heard his heartbeat at numerous Dr appointments, and have been feeling his movements for a months now. He is so real inside me, and there is no pain, so these little exercises have become quite fun. Entertaining even for those who are lucky enough to witness it.

We moved from my beloved condo (I LOVED living there) two weeks ago... and with moving comes packing - which really means a lot of reaching and bending and lifting and carrying and all the things one is not supposed to be doing in her third trimester. Rich has been traveling for work and vacation, and I wanted to be superwoman and still get it done. (I am still learning the valuable lesson that it is ok to say No and let others do it and help, but I digress...) Alas, with all this motion, the tightening has come on in full force. This last week especially. Saturday was a very active day, with a lot of walking.... and a series of constant flexing of the uterus in a very short time period. Sunday was even worse. I counted 18 within 3 hours. Yeah... not exactly the most comforting thing at 33 weeks. Adding a little lower back pain and menstrual type cramping sensation can make it a little more scary. Needless to say, these boxes that still surround me are looking a lot better as the new decor as I'm not as eager to unleash the treasures they hold within... that can wait until the weekends when Rich is back in town and can help. :)

I downloaded a cool little application for my iPhone that lets me track the time, duration, intervals, and intensity of contractions... I'm getting my $.99 worth and using it to track the Braxton Hicks too. It's been really good training - to pay attention to my body, and get prepared for what is ahead.

This is what it looks like when I have a strong Braxton Hick. The only thing that comes to mind in trying to describe this is: It's like the "just seen on TV" vacuum bags for sweaters... only it is like someone stuck it in me and is shrink wrapping him so tight. My body contorts and makes the strangest shapes. It's always fun to "see" what position he's in.

And then two minutes later, the tightness releases, and the most calm sensation takes over, my belly relaxes, and so do we... The round dome comes back, and I say to him "Sorry honey, that's just your mommy giving you a squeeze of love" and then I say to my uterus "Good girl!!! You keep practicing and get strong so we can do this in just a few weeks!" Then, instead of a round of celebratory high-fives, I do gentle swirls and circles of soft hand strokes. It's a neat moment...

Pregnancy is amazing. It truly is a miracle in every sense of the word. I have loved this, and will miss it - but soon, I will have a new bundle of skin and chubby cheeks to occupy my time, my heart, my eyes, my ears, my breasts, and my sleep to distract me and I will relish in the next phase. But for today, I love this phase… where he is just mine, for very soon I will have to share him with the world. ;)

Painting the Roses Red... er BLUE!

The nursery was painted today!!! The before, was two-toned in teals. And we wanted blue, for our boy, and his underwater themed nursery. The same blue that had surrounded me in the previous condo that I had grown to love.

Rich is on a business trip, and I can't be with the fumes, so our dear landloard from the condo came to our new house and spent the day helping to transition this magical room. It was really cool of him. :)

Here is the before:

And here is the after:

And now the fun begins... building the castle that will house my prince. The room we will spend many, many hours in sleeping, eating, burping, pooping, peeing, playing, reading, singing, and all sorts of other activities unknown to me. At night, we will look out the window, and see beyond the swaying palm fronds and watch the twinkle lights on the hills that are not house lights, but fairies that are just outside, protecting him.

This weekend, for Mother's Day, we'll go shopping for the nursery essentials. We'll order the crib, purchase the mattress, look for his dresser, and the rocking chair/glider, and other fun pieces that will make our lives easier, and his more comfortable. I can't wait. :)